As a mother of three kids, one being…
This is a touchy subject, especially when it’s adolescents that we are talking about. There are differences between adolescents and adults behavior before the actual act or attempt, but a lot of the reasons are the same, thus the initial behaviors are also the same. There are always, and I mean always; signs that someone is in real danger of committing suicide. Let’s talk about what is going on inside someone who is deceived into committing suicide. First, we need to establish that suicide is a three fold issue, one, it’s mental, two, spiritual, and third, emotional. But. as I see it, the single most important issue is spiritual. Being a pastor and a therapist is at times like walking a balance beam. On the one side you have the worldly view that states that all mental or emotional issues stem from our environment or our nurture, and on the other side one has to look at the spiritual aspects of life and see that all things have their base in spirituality. If we are threefold beings, which means that we are first and foremost Spirit beings, in possession of a soul, living in a physical form, then we must concede that everything that happens to us happens in both a spiritual and physical realm.
There is a darkness that descends over a person as they seriously consider suicide. This darkness permeates everything. It causes depression, anxiety, frustration, worry, and lastly a hopelessness that is so heavy that it becomes impossible to shrug off without help. The problem is that it makes you not want to ask for help because its just too much like work to explain again everything that is going on, so it just becomes easier to hide. You may ask how I know all this, and the truth be told, as a young adult, I battled with this for a few years, mostly due to depression and addiction, but there were times when it was very real, and very close.
Signs that someone is contemplating suicide:
They loose interest in the things that bring them joy. They stop playing sports. Loss of appetite even of favorite foods. They start to isolate by themselves almost constantly. They start listening to different music, usually about depressing subject matter, They stop hanging out with friends. Their clothes will become dark in color. They will almost exclusively speak about doing the act, or they will talk about leaving, or going away, or wouldn’t it be better if I wasn’t here? They are apt to quit their jobs, or get fired, this only reinforces the fact that they are worthless or not needed. They appear to have lost their drive and energy for almost all but the most basic of things.
And, in adults mostly, they will start to give away their things, pay off long standing debts, and make amends to others that they have been fighting with. ,
OK, so what do you do as a friend or family member if you see these warning signs?
Do not be shy, confront the person!!!! It is better to have that person hate you for a while than have to stand at their grave site every year. Get them help, even if they don’t want it; again, better to have them resent you for a while …
If as a friend you start to see any of these warning signs, please don’t hesitate, get with your kid, friend, or family member and speak direct with them. If they are that unhappy, you are not going to offend them by bringing up the fact that you have seen changes in them that are scaring you. Offer to go get help with them, this way you are sharing the experience.
Remember, suicide is a spiritual warfare thing. It is not just physical, it is also spiritual, things are going on that we do not see or understand in the spiritual realm. Because I am a pastor, who believes that the Word of God is true, I also believe that when the bible states that our warfare is not carnal, but spiritual, I believe it. Darkness wants to kill us. Lucifer wants all people with a calling on their lives dead. The devil wishes us who believe in Jesus harm as we ARE HIS ENEMY. THIS IS NOT A FAIRY TALE, A MYTH, OR RELIGIOUS RUBBISH. Talk with someone who has suffered with severe depression, wanted to suicide out of life or has had serious mental health or emotional issues, and they will tell you that something more was going on in life at that time than just what they saw. Now, in all fairness, there are natural brain chemistry issues that get out of whack at times and need medication to help correct, and there are times when people go so far down the rabbit hole that it is very hard to find their way back without help, i’ll concede this, but overall, and in most cases where a person was on the brink of ending it all, there are more than just natural forces at work.
Any time that someone mentions the word suicide, please take it seriously. Get them help, listen to them, see if any of these warning signs are there, and as always you can call this office for more info. But, for the love of God, and that person, do something!!!!