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Pre-Teens and Hugs

As a mother of three kids, one being 12 years old, really gives me a better understanding of why kids in this age group want to be in their room 24/7. The answer is that they are feeling left
out! In my option, isolation promotes anger issues, depression, feeling left out, and possibly feeling unloved.

I must say that I always thought it was my youngest kids that needed most of my attention because they were incapable of taking care of themselves. However, my 12 year old son is going through a time in his life where he is finding out who he is, what he likes, and dealing with body changes. So yes, he does require a lot of my attention…possibly even more than my youngest children.

Just the other day I said to my son, “ I can’t remember the last time I hugged you.“ and his shocking response was, “Yeah mom, you don’t hug me anymore or even give me a kiss.“

I thought all along that he wouldn’t want that affection but, I was very, very wrong. The squeeze I got from that boy was one that he needed for a very long time. So, to all of you parents…my advice is that you need to show your older kids more love because they do need it. They do want that attention, even if they aren’t verbally asking for it. Sit in their room with them watch them play that game, or hangout with them as if you are their friend and give them the affection they are craving. You WILL see a difference in relationship development between you and your child happen automatically. So, hug your pre-teen kids too, and hangout with them and watch the difference it makes.

-Paulina Cardella

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