Do we need Marriage Counseling?

Being married for 7 years and my experience I would say that marriage counseling can be extremely beneficial if you want to fix the issues within the marriage. If you are going through a strained relationship, are constantly fighting and feel your marriage is crumbling down, then marital therapy can help you and your spouse overcome your fears, control your emotions and get a grip on your relationship.

If you were to ask a married couple whether they would enjoy a stronger, more satisfying relationship, most of them would say yes. But if you were to tell them the best way to strengthen their marriage was through counseling, they may be hesitant. The reason? Many just aren’t sure what to expect in couple’s therapy. In your everyday life, you eat, drink water, and stay as healthy as you can. But, that doesn’t mean you won’t still attending a doctor’s appointment every once in a while. Similarly, don’t think of attending therapy as a failure in your relationship. Think of it as a checkup. In order to get to know you better both as an individual and a couple, your counselor is going to ask a lot of questions. This is especially true of your first few sessions.

During your couples therapy you will discuss your backgrounds, beliefs, how you met, and the issues you are now facing in your marriage. While this sounds much like an interview, it will feel much more like a natural conversation. Learning this background information will help your counselor to get a better idea of how you operate as a couple, what your emotional triggers are, and how you will best benefit from the therapy sessions. You may feel awkward or uncomfortable at some of your sessions. It can be difficult to open up about your deepest secrets and feelings to a stranger. Some of your sessions may be highly emotional, while others may go by without you or your partner saying a single word to one another. These are normal reactions to couples therapy and both are acceptable. When learning what to expect in couples therapy, you’ll quickly find that effective communication skills are a large part of the process. Couples will be encouraged to communicate with one another, often through open-ended questions. These will open up healthy discussions and teach couples how to speak respectfully, to listen, and to share with one another. Another large part of learning to communicate is being taught how to discuss and resolve differences. Effective problem-solving techniques will be discussed in one of your sessions and homework may be given to help couples put the techniques into practice at home.

While it’s normal to feel a little uncomfortable the first time you attend couples therapy, your experience overall should be a positive one. Here are a few things to keep in mind before you head into marriage counseling. If you are not willing to be open and honest with your partner about issues both past and present, your therapy sessions will end in a stalemate. You cannot fix what you don’t acknowledge. Reflection and meditation over what was discussed during your session can help both partners communicate more effectively and discover how they can contribute to the happiness and betterment of the marriage.

Many couples are hesitant about going into counseling because they have a negative idea about what therapy is like. Knowing what to expect in couples therapy will ease concerns that spouses have about marriage counseling. This way both partners can benefit from the advice and techniques they find in counseling in simple terms if you want to save your marriage Alpha and Omega is the place to start.

-Paulina-