Family Counseling in Northeastern Pennsylvania
The family is a living entity that is all to its own. Each family has its own rules, standards, and secrets. As we grow up in that family, we learn what is right, and what is wrong according to that family. Each family is independent, with little regulating the lessons that children are taught from birth. Because of this, when things go horribly wrong, family counseling may be necessary to repair the damage and develop new habits and methods of communication. Here are a few things we have identified that can cause riffs within family dynamics.
Absent Family Members
In today’s world, we also have what I like to call “absent family members”. Parents must work, people have to travel, and commuting is quite common in our area. This is no one’s fault, but it does pose unique problems for family dynamics. Other family members, such as grandparents, or community agencies such as The Boys and Girls club of America, the YMC or after school activities are picking up the slack and standing in for parents. But, nothing takes the place of healthy parents that are present to raise their kids together.
Parents with Unresolved Issues
Secondly, if the parents have unhealthy habits, no one will be healthy. If there is constant fighting or violence, if a parent is struggling with addiction, alcoholism, or even if a parent lacks of adequate support themselves or lacks good communication methods, a family relationship can be quickly damaged. Just like a rock in a lake, the ripples from the parents expand outward, with dramatic consequences to all members of the family.
Each person has baggage that they bring to a marriage. We have found that if a parent has unresolved issues from their family of origin, it will affect the new family. The hurts and pain, happiness and sorrows, resentments, anger, frustration, and just plain fear all comes with us into our new family. And, if we don’t find a way to get to the bottom of the issues, we can damage our new family.
Divorce at an early age can devastating to kids. For children under 12, they often do not have the mental or emotional capability to understand the situation rationally. They cannot understand that a divorce is not their fault and will often times blame themselves, no matter how hard you try to convince them otherwise.
No matter the age, the divorce of a family can cause issues for parents and children. It’s important to relearn how to co-parent and often family counseling can help soften the blow of a divorce.
Our Family Counseling Can Help
Here at Alpha & Omega Counseling we work with the entire family and will focus on the various issues a family may encounter. Our family counseling uses a system of sharing and communication, with room for controlled chaos, and will develop a plan for moving forward. We value each and every individual and no one gets left out. It doesn’t matter how old or young, what sexual preference or gender you are, we believe everyone has a right to be heard.
In order for family counseling to have success, everyone must be willing to change. We must have the courage to believe in each other, focus on the present, and expect the future to be brighter. There is hope. Love can win, and light always overcomes darkness.
Many times, not all members of the family arrive at a place to get help at the same time. But just as negative movements or habits effect all members, positive movements have positive effects on all members of the family. If one person chooses to stop the madness, uncover the ugliness, and face the issues, change is possible. Once change starts, it is hard to stop. People want to be happy, they want to be together, and they want to stop the insanity. Usually, families want to get help to stay together. There are very few “Deal Breakers” or absolute “dead ends”.
Alpha & Omega Counseling believes that there is nothing that cannot be worked out. We just have to have the courage to talk about the issues. A family that helps each other is a family that grows together. A family that is willing to get the counseling they need and face their issues, is the family that stays together. No one is an island.